Returning home from the airport last Thursday night after seeing my now 25 year old first born son off to his flight back to the east coast; it dawned on me that my carreer as “mom” was my longest standing gig.
It’s outlasted my first marriage now by some 17 years… And while I certainly hope it won’t outlast my current marriage (a mere babe at only 8 years in the running). I can see that momdom has shaped me and my life in more ways than anything else I’ve ever been done.
A major component and challenge of momdom is the art of learning to find what is good, what is wonderful and what is uplifting in the world and the people around you. To become the steady center of love and appreciation at the heart of a family is perhaps the most challenging and potentially rewarding role a woman could ever have. Not in the old fashioned sense of being the emotional creature for all of the family members; but in the whole hearted sense of being her authentic loving, creative, engaged and engaging self, and allowing those around her the freedom to do the same.
Christmas time and the holidays in general are at once exhilerating and overwhelming for moms, whose lives have been filled to beyond reason in our ever faster moving world… For myself, even in those extended days of our Thanksgiving visit; the days were full and fast moving. They seemed to fly by, and in the end we all felt it had passed too quickly. So many more things we had wanted to talk about, to do…
The flip side of this of course, is that we get to bask in the love and adoration of our families as we share our gifts, open special presents from our children (and if we are lucky, our mates) and feel that glorious exhileration of seeing all these rituals and wonders of Christmas come alive in the hearts and faces of our children.
In the face of all of this, thinking of presents as something we receive rather than as something we have to provide for others is not always “first nature” never mind “second nature” to moms. Which is another good reason to find ways to surprise and delights the moms in our lives… It is also a reason it’s not always the easiest thing to do.
Moms are notorious for saying things like “Oh, that’s fine dear, don’t worry about me.” and even “I really don’t need a thing!” As if that was the point!
Finding exceptional and exquisite gifts for moms may be the best fun I’ve had in a very long time! It’s even given me reason to think back on some of the best Christmas presents I’ve received over the years as a mom myself. And the memories that go along with those special gifts may be the sweetest gift of all.